A Lovable Rogue: The Memoirs of Gwaine
by TheOnceAndFutureMerlinFan
Summary: Gwaine is remembered in the annals of legend as being one of the bravest knights of Camelot, but little is known of his life before receiving this coveted honor. Who was he really? Where did he come from? What adventures befell him before his fateful meeting with Merlin and Prince Arthur? At last, this lovable rogue reveals all, in a story full of romance, intrigue, and adventure.


**Hello everyone! First off, I'd just like to thank you all in advance for checking out my Fanfic. This is my first **_**Merlin**_** Fanfic, and I hope that you'll enjoy it. It truly is a labor of love. My friend turned me on to **_**Merlin**_** a couple of months ago, and I've been hooked ever since. I breezed through the entire series over the course of two weeks and am now rewatching it again because I love it so much. That being said, while rewatching episode four of the third season, "Gwaine," I was struck with a marvelous idea. To begin with, Gwaine is one of my favorite characters, and I thought it would fun to elaborate on his backstory, much like Gregory Maguire does in his classic fantasy epic **_**Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West**_**. We only hear a snippet of his personal history in the episode, as he confides in Merlin. This fanfic is a multi-chapter adventure story, told in the first-person narrative style, and focuses on Gwaine's travels and exploits before he arrives in Camelot. It, like the show, is set in early medieval times, so I had to do some research just to make sure that everything was somewhat accurate. Merlin, Arthur, and Gwen do appear in this story, but not until much later. Thank you, and all comments and feedback are greatly appreciated! **

_Chapter the First: In which I explain my childhood, am banished from my home, and seek adventure on the high seas._

I never knew my father. All I had to remember him by were the stories my mum and my older sister, Aelwen, told me when I was little. He had been a knight in King Caerleon's army and had died in a skirmish with the Saxon invaders when I was but a year old. Oh, how this imposing phantom had haunted my dreams as a child! He always appeared in the exact same way in my sleeping mind: seated on a black horse with armor so polished and shiny that it seemed almost to glow. I never could see his face, for it was obscured by an equally radiant helmet complete with red feather plume on top. Unfortunately, he never spoke in these dreams, which saddened me a great deal. Even in slumber, the idea of my father was as distant to me as he was in waking life.

After his death, mum went to the king and pleaded for his help. After all, our breadwinner was gone, and we had very little money to live on. Much to her surprise, Caerleon turned her away. She obeyed, thinking that the king must have had sufficient reason for doing what he did. As for me, I grew up resenting Caerleon and eventually arrived at the conclusion that all monarchs were exactly the same: selfish, brutal creatures whose only goals were to please themselves.

For the rest of mum's life, the three of us lived in abject poverty, scrounging the streets of the outlying villages for food. She fell ill a number of years later and died shortly thereafter, no doubt from a broken heart, leaving Aelwen to take care of me.

Aelwen did what she could to support herself and me, mainly by accepting various odd jobs throughout the kingdom. She had always been a very loving and caring older sister, and I did my best to be a good little brother in return. However, as the years passed, we slowly started to grow apart.

In her late teens, Aelwen started hanging out by the docks and, shall we say, began to "mingle" with the sea-faring folk she met there. There were periods when I would not see her for days at a time. It finally became so unbearable that, one day, at the age of thirteen, I stormed down to the inns and bordellos by the docks and begged her to return home. When I found her, she was in the clutches of a particularly burly Saxon sailor, and she yelled at me and told me to leave her be.

I was never the same after that. After all, I had essentially lost my entire family before my very eyes.

Naturally, I started to frequent the taverns in the outlying villages. Drinking became a way for me to numb the pain and forget the past. I became a sort of recluse, getting myself thrown out of every watering hole in the kingdom for either being too drunk or not being able to pay my tab.

By the age of eighteen, I was a mess, and had garnered a very tarnished reputation throughout the kingdom. Every tavern and brothel in Caerleon's realm knew that allowing me entry would mean certain disaster. At this time, I was too brash and brazen to take anything seriously, that is, until the king himself sent for me.

"This sort of conduct will not be tolerated," he said, shaking a sausage-like finger at me. "Word has traveled throughout the land of your boorish behavior, and I will not stand here and watch you make a mockery of my kingdom."

I scoffed which, in hindsight, was probably not the wisest thing to do in front of a ruling monarch, but he was so full of himself that I was simply itching to knock him down a peg.

"You speak to me of mockery?" I retorted, my youth no doubt providing me with this foolish confidence. "Anyone with half a brain can see that it is _you_ who is the mockery. You can't even lend a hand to those who are most in need of your help." My mind immediately conjured an image of my poor mum on her deathbed, and I did my absolute best to fight back tears.

"Silence," Caerleon hissed as he literally leapt from his throne. His face was a strawberry-red blur of anger. "You will not speak to me in such a manner! How would your father feel knowing that this is how you talk to your king?"

I stood there, taken aback by the shock of what he had said. He had the nerve, nay, the audacity to bring up my father.

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF HIM?" I shouted in reply. "My father meant nothing to you! He was expendable, a mere pawn in your war games, and when his widowed wife and children came to you in their darkest hour, you turned them away! You're not a king, you're a tyrant!"

The blood pounded in my ears as a mixture of satisfaction and dread overcame me. I heard the royal subjects gasp in shock and horror. From the corner of my eye, I could even see some of them taking a few tentative steps backwards. For a minute, I feared myself lost, as I was almost certain that the king was going to kill me right then and there.

"ENOUGH!" he screamed, his complexion even redder than before. "Your incompetence and lack of respect have just cost you your place in this land. I hereby banish you from my kingdom, and if you so much as ever set foot here again, you will pay with your pathetic excuse for a life. You have until sunset." With that, he turned his back to me. "Take him away."

Two royal guards were suddenly at my sides, their fingers digging into my shoulders as they led me out of the throne room. Before the entrance to the chamber closed, I shot Caerleon a venomous glare and sneered when I saw the faintest trace of fear flash across his eyes.

* * *

Within a couple of hours, I stood near the docks with my entire life packed in a simple travel bag. I was not sure where exactly I was going, but I knew that the next ship to come in to port would be the one that would take me away from the place I had come to despise.

Much to my surprise, Aelwen found me just as the sun was setting in the western sky, bathing the world in hues of crimson and scarlet. She had definitely aged since last I'd seen her, and perhaps looked a little worn out as well. The memory of how she had treated me when I caught her with that Saxon ruffian years ago was still fresh in my mind, but I was inwardly grateful for her company, perhaps because I was hoping that she was willing to make amends before seeing me off.

"What do you want?" I asked as she took a seat beside me on the dock. I still had not forgiven her.

"I heard about what happened," she replied, pathetically. "I'm so sorry, Gwaine. Perhaps I could seek counsel with the king."

I scoffed sardonically. "He wouldn't even listen to mum. What makes you think he'd take the time to listen to you? After all, we're just a pair of lowly peasants."

Aelwen hung her head in what seemed to be a combination of shame and sorrow. "I should have been there for you," she said softly.

"Oh, is that right?" I could feel the anger rising within me once more, though this was of a different sort. "And where were you for me all those other years? Diddling with a bunch of sailors, no doubt."

The silence that followed was tense and uncomfortable, and was only broken by the sound of Aelwen's soft sobs. When I turned to look at her, she returned my glance with wet eyes. Behind them, I could see all the guilt and remorse that she must have kept hidden for so many years.

I reached over and put my arm around her and let her cry. Tears filled my eyes as well, and for a few minutes, it was just the two of us in a cruel land that had no regard for its poor and downtrodden.

After what seemed an eternity, Aelwen spoke once more. "Gwaine, I think it's high time that I gave you something."

I shot her a puzzled glance. She reached for a little coin purse that dangled from a sash around her waist and produced a necklace from within it. A ring and a pendant hung from the silver chain.

"The ring was father's wedding band," Aelwen explained. "The pendant was fashioned from a dragon scale and bears our family crest on the opposite side."

She unclasped the chain and reached behind my neck to put the necklace on. Afterwards, I scrutinized both items in the palm of my hand, marveling at their beautiful craftsmanship. The family crest, which I had never seen before, consisted of a shield flanked by two lions with a rose on top.

"The lions stand for courage and bravery while the rose symbolizes kindness," Aelwen said. "Mum told me to give them to you when I felt you were ready to wear them. She said they would protect you."

I continued to marvel at the necklace for a moment before I wrapped my arms around her once more. "Thank you," I whispered into her hair, eternally grateful that we had, at last, reconciled.

As if on cue, a merchant ship pulled into the harbor, preparing to dock. Shielding my eyes against the setting sun, I gazed seaward to appraise the vessel. It would be my ticket out of Caerleon's kingdom.

Aelwen followed my gaze. "Where will you go?" she asked with concern.

I shook my head. "I'm not sure. Wherever the wind takes me, I suppose."

She gave me a soft smile. "Promise me that you'll look after yourself."

It was my turn to smile. "You have my word."

With that, we embraced one more time. I watched her slowly and apprehensively walk away before turning to greet my uncertain future.

"Gwaine!"

It was Aelwen. "We will see each other again, dear brother. Of that, I am certain."

I could not keep myself from grinning, and as tears of happiness rolled down my face, I suddenly felt invigorated, so that when the ship finally docked, all my doubts and fears had vanished without a trace. Stepping onto the ship's deck, the first mate caught my eye and smiled a toothless grin. "Where you 'eaded?" he asked as he peeled an apple.

Chuckling, I gave him my honest answer: "Anywhere."

**To be continued…Look out for Chapter Two coming soon!**


End file.
